Officer McLovin'
Not unlocked yetAsked a police officer to sign your petition.
Paid the Piper
Not unlocked yetSuccessfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Well, aren't YOU a badass
Not unlocked yetKicked open a door.
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Not unlocked yetPut out someone that's on fire.
It's sterile and I like the taste
Not unlocked yetSucked down your own piss.
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Not unlocked yetKilled someone who refused to sign your petition.
FAB-U-LOUS!
Not unlocked yetWore all three outfits.
I don't need virgins for this
Not unlocked yetSuicide-bombed a Taliban member.
A-Rod Who?
Not unlocked yetWhacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Door Mat
Not unlocked yetSevered all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Chuck Norris'd!
Not unlocked yetKilled someone with a flying jump kick.
One time, at band camp...
Not unlocked yetSaved the marching band from explody death.
There's always money in the banana stand
Not unlocked yetFound the secret bank exit on Monday.
SCREW that game!
Not unlocked yetFound the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Found 'em faster than GWB
Not unlocked yetDiscovered the hidden Taliban base.
Gotta pay the Troll Toll
Not unlocked yetFound one of the hidden underground sewers.
John Rambo'd!
Not unlocked yetMade a very long killing spree.
Gary vs. The K. Man
Not unlocked yetDiscovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
You are not alone
Not unlocked yetObserved an NPC going POSTAL!
Thanks for the money!
Not unlocked yetFinished all seven days.
GABAGOOOOOL!
Not unlocked yetReunited with an old friend.
Holocaust: Part Deux
Not unlocked yetReunited with an old enemy.
Rain on your Wedding Day
Not unlocked yetReunited with an old flame.
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Not unlocked yetReunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.