Better than POSTAL III
Not unlocked yetRescued your loyal companion.
My Name is Jesus
Not unlocked yetCompleted Paradise Lost with no kills.
Harder than r/gonewild
Not unlocked yetCompleted Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Adderall4All
Not unlocked yetCompleted Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Ape Gape
Not unlocked yetEscaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Dick Message
Not unlocked yetWasted no time with the Wise Wang.
PooMasher
Not unlocked yetBought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Hobo Sexual
Not unlocked yetCollected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Ginger Mint
Not unlocked yetKilled Zack Ward.
Ode to Eddings
Not unlocked yetDeactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Ladies Love Cake
Not unlocked yetDefeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Rich on Reddit
Not unlocked yetSold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
BioShocked
Not unlocked yetSpent $2000 on vending machines.
Gettin DP'd
Not unlocked yetMade 30 kills while dual-wielding.
You Snow Nothing John Blow
Not unlocked yetPeed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
RAFIBOMB!!!
Not unlocked yetKicked 10 people in the balls.
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Not unlocked yetWaited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!