R. Kelly's Protege
Not unlocked yetPissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Ladies Love Cake
Not unlocked yetDefeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
PooMasher
Not unlocked yetBought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Rich on Reddit
Not unlocked yetSold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Hobo Sexual
Not unlocked yetCollected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Gettin DP'd
Not unlocked yetMade 30 kills while dual-wielding.
Better than POSTAL III
Not unlocked yetRescued your loyal companion.
My Name is Jesus
Not unlocked yetCompleted Paradise Lost with no kills.
Ginger Mint
Not unlocked yetKilled Zack Ward.
Dick Message
Not unlocked yetWasted no time with the Wise Wang.
GABAGOOOOOL!
Not unlocked yetReunited with an old friend.
Ape Gape
Not unlocked yetEscaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
RAFIBOMB!!!
Not unlocked yetKicked 10 people in the balls.
Ode to Eddings
Not unlocked yetDeactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Harder than r/gonewild
Not unlocked yetCompleted Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
You Snow Nothing John Blow
Not unlocked yetPeed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Adderall4All
Not unlocked yetCompleted Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Not unlocked yetReunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Holocaust: Part Deux
Not unlocked yetReunited with an old enemy.
BioShocked
Not unlocked yetSpent $2000 on vending machines.
Rain on your Wedding Day
Not unlocked yetReunited with an old flame.
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Not unlocked yetResurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
I don't need virgins for this
Not unlocked yetSuicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Running With Scissors
Not unlocked yetRan 30 miles while holding the scissors.