Successfully click and close the game for the first time.

Hear all 45 failure speeches at least once.

Hear all 10 end speeches at least once.

Fail to click the boss 100 times in total.

Fail to click 10 times in a row.

Listen to 10 different speeches by failing to click.

Successfully close the game 50 times.

Successfully close the game 100 times and unlock the win/end screen.

Chase around and fail to click it 50 times in a single session.

Play the game after reaching the win/end screen and hear one of the post-win speeches.