Climb over Marangi's fence — "He could have climbed over from literally anywhere else!"

Get hit by every single boss attack in a single cycle — "Shut up, I meant to do that!"

Check Vincent's designer jeans — "Dude, they're expensive and extremely relevant to the plot!"

Solve the missing portrait puzzle — "You know, because of the mirror... shut up, I'm funny!"

Defeat Chapter 1 Boss — "It's still funny dammit!"

Complete Chapter 1 — "It takes both to make a perfectly dysfunctional adult!"

Exit the childhood room — "I read it when I was 6 and it changed my life!"

Use the assembled axe to access the wardrobe — "Duct tape solves every problem, but can it patch the leak in my soul?"

Try the calendar date to access the laptop — "I mean, there's even a red herring drawn on it, c'mon!"

Listen to church gossip — "I heard she drowns puppies in her spare time"

Escape Mother's Room — "You left just before she started asking why you’re not married yet."

Escape Father's Room — "The laptop could have had more interactable icons, but eeh..."

Acquire Spark of Volition — "Give the player a new toy to keep gameplay fresh..."

Lose Spark of Volition — "...Then take it immediately away!"

Watch the credits till the end — "You endured unskippable cutscenes and now unskippable credits too!"