True Destiny
Not unlocked yetFind your first romance.
Playing the Field
Not unlocked yetRomance 20 Paddles in one game.
Lil' Stinker
Not unlocked yetPut someone's underwear on your head.
Lukewarm
Not unlocked yetHit Snow Monster with a fireball.
Ungodly
Not unlocked yetHit Cthulhu with a Physical attack
16Bit
Not unlocked yetDeal 65536 total ball damage
Hitmaker
Not unlocked yetSmack 100 balls
Tri-Fires
Not unlocked yetHit a ball with fireballs 3 times in one rally.
Bling Pong
Not unlocked yetFind 100 treasures.
Bitter and Alone
Not unlocked yetPerform a hypergalactic loop with 0 loved paddles.
That's a Paddlin'
Not unlocked yetHit the ball 1000 times overall.
Psyche
Not unlocked yetRead the mind of 200 different paddles.
The Truest Destiny
Not unlocked yetRomance Every Paddle in one game.
50 DKP MINUS
Not unlocked yetLose 50 rallys in a row.
Freudian Nightmare
Not unlocked yetRomance Your Mother's Subconscious.
An Achievement
Not unlocked yetBeat Kevin.
Midlife Crisis
Not unlocked yetHit Balding Menace with a Physical attack.
H4x0r
Not unlocked yetUse Hypergalactica while fighting Nate Schmold.
Savior of Shadow
Not unlocked yetHit Kefka with a fireball.
VSCO Girl
Not unlocked yetPut on Tie-Dyed Hemp Headband.
Lilith Fair Attendee
Not unlocked yetPut on Tori Amos CD Cases boots.
Weekend Warrior
Not unlocked yetPut on Biking Spandex.
Beat Aficionado
Not unlocked yetBeat Ghost Cartridge with the music on.