You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You completed the game and never ended a battle with your buddy knocked out.

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You collected all of the Chinpokomon.

You befriended your father.

You made friends with half of South Park.

Everyone in South Park is your friend.

You sold 300 junk items.

You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.

You've farted on people 100 times.

You've farted on animals 25 times.

In three separate battles, you've taken a shit in your pants.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You've collected all of the available costumes.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.